Bro Brew

This aluminum can is labelled as Bro Brew. It even has a picture of a muscly bare-chested man flexing on it. A small label in the corner displays: Demon Generals Warning: Bro Brews effects are as potent (and irreversible) as they are refreshing.

Obtained from

Owca, Tavern

Minotaur

Goblin

Perks Granted

Bro Body

Bro Brains

In-game description on Consumption

Well, maybe this will give you the musculature that you need to accomplish your goals. You pull on the tab at the top and hear the distinctive snap-hiss of venting, carbonating pressure. A smoky haze wafts from the opened container, smelling of hops and alcohol. You lift it to your lips, the cold, metallic taste of the can coming to your tongue before the first amber drops of beer roll into your waiting mouth. It tingles, but it’s very, very good. You feel compelled to finish it as rapidly as possible, and you begin to chug it. You finish the entire container in seconds. A churning, full sensation wells up in your gut, and without thinking, you open wide to release a massive burp. It rumbles through your chest, startling birds into flight in the distance. Awesome! You slam the can into your forehead hard enough to smash the fragile aluminum into a flat, crushed disc. Damn, you feel stronger already. Starting at your hands, your muscles begin to contract and release, each time getting tighter, stronger, and more importantly - larger. The oddness travels up your arms, thickens your biceps, and broadens your shoulders. Soon, your neck and chest are as built as your arms. You give a few experimental flexes as your abs further define themselves. The strange, muscle-building changes flow down your legs, making them just as fit and strong as the rest of you. You curl your arm and kiss your massive, flexing bicep. You’re awesome! Whoah, you’re fucking ripped and strong, not at all like the puny weakling you were before. Yet, you feel oddly wool-headed. Your thoughts seem to be coming slower and slower, like they’re plodding through a marsh. You grunt in frustration at the realization. Sure, you’re a muscle-bound hunk now, but what good is it if you’re as dumb as a box of rocks? Your muscles flex in the most beautiful way, so you stop and strike a pose, mesmerized by your own appearance. Fuck thinking, that shit’s for losers! As if on cue, the familiar tingling gathers in your groin, and you dimly remember you have one muscle left to enlarge. If only you had the intelligence left to realize that your penis is not a muscle. In any event, your ample cock swells in size, thickening and lengthening until it’s ten inches long and almost three inches wide. Fuck, you’re hung! Churning audibly, your beanbag sways, but doesn’t show any outward sign of change. Oh well, it’s probably just like, getting more endurance or something. Lastly, the change hits your face. You can feel your jawbones shifting and sliding around, your skin changing to accommodate your face’s new shape. Once it’s finished, you feel your impeccable square jaw and give a wide, easy-going grin. You look awesome! You finish admiring yourself and adjust your comfortable clothes to better fit your new physique. Maybe there’s some bitches around you can fuck. Hell, as good as you look, you might have other dudes wanting you to fuck them too, no homo.