Codex: Suma Cream

Manufactured By: J’ejune Pharmaceutical

J’ejune Pharmaceuticals are not known for their originality, though they’re quite adept at making the best of a bad situation. The “Suma Cream” line of beauty products is no different. Originally intended as a facial cream to bring out plump, rosy cheeks, it was discovered that the plumping agent in the salve had almost no effect on female test subjects, but produced testicular swelling in hermaphrodites and males. When the balm was actually applied directly to the balls, the effect was even more pronounced.

Rebranding it as an alternative to Xenogen’s similar products, J’ejune marketed the cream specifically to those who wanted bigger testicles without adopting bovine or kui-tan traits. Their ad slogan “Pinch the pearl and make a kui-tan squirm!” was widely regarded as being both offensive and frankly misleading. Despite marketing missteps, they’ve finally managed to begin shipping the cream to vendors across the rim.

Rumors persist that “black pearl” versions of the cream have entered production. The black cream supposedly contains undiluted formula, producing an irresponsible amount of growth. J’ejune denies that such an oversight could’ve occurred, but their history speaks more loudly than their press statements.