Brute Beet

Brute Beet
Type	Transformative
Base Price	25
Additional Information
Stack Limit	9
Usable	Yes
Combat Usable	No

Written by GothPastel.

Brute Beet is a consumable transformative item. Each dose you gob down can put you one transformation closer to the ideal orc.

Description

A rough, greenish beet with a distinctive musk. Rarely eaten without a good reason. Tales tell of a rivalry between two orc clans. What started as all-out war eventually simmered into something more friendly. The final trials between the two was a series of one-on-one brawls between the Chieftains. It was first to three wins to be declared the true Chieftain. One of them was down two loses with no wins. Reportedly, after his second loss, he went back home to his wife where he was told "If ya ate ya fuckin' veggies like I'z always sayin' yaz should, ya wouldn't be losin'!" As revenge for her being a total bitch, the Chieftain went into the garden and ate an entire bushel of musky beets that were growing. That night, he smelled like rancid meat during sex, but the next morning he won three matches in a row. To this day orc warriors often eat one before going into battle, believing them to grant a burst of strength.

Acquisition

• Purchasable from Ivris at the Alchemist's Shop
• Purchasable from Pavo at the Kervus Warcamp

Effects

This item will be consumed on use. In doing so, one or more of the effects listed below will randomly occur. The item can be alchemically refined with the listed reagents to limit its effects only to that target. Note that some transformative effects fall under the Raw body target as they are not the primary focus of the item. If the Champion has all of the listed features, consuming the item or any of its alchemical mixes will produce no effect.

Body Target	Condition	Change	Reagent
Raw	If is female If cup size > Flat If cup size < H or If has Buxom and cup size < J	Raise cup size by 2 or until H or Raise cup size by 3 or until J is has Buxom	N/A
	If has a cock If cock is not a Magicock If cock < 10" or If has Well Hung perk and cock < 13"	Raise cock by 2" or until 10" or Raise cock by 3" or until 13" if has Well Hung
	If has balls If ball size < 4	Raise ball size to 4
	If is female If femininity < 75	Raise femininity by 10 or until 75
	If is male If femininity is > 0	Lower femininity by 10 or until 0
	If tone < 100	Raise tone by 10 or until 100
	If thickness is < 70	Raise thickness by 10 or until 70
	If is male and height < 84" or 7' or If is female and height < 78" or 6'5"	Raise height by 3" + (random# 0" to 2") or until 84" if male until 78" if female
	If is female If butt rating < 15	Raise butt rating by 2 or until 15
	If is female If hip rating < 15	Raise hip rating by 2 or until 15
	If has elf-like ears If ear length > 3	Lower ear length to 3
Face	If eye color is not: Blue or Red or Gold	Eye color becomes: Blue or Red or Gold	Soft Mud
	If face is not orc-like	Face becomes orc-like
	If eyes are not human-like	Eyes become human-like
	If does not have tusks	Grow tusks
Head	If ears are not elf-like	Ears become elf-like Ears are also Tapered Set ear length to 1"	Laurel Sprig
	If has hair If hair color is not: Red or Black or Brown	Hair color becomes: Red or Black or Brown
	If hair is not normal	Hair becomes normal
	If has antennae	Antennae is removed
Limbs	If arms are not human-like	Arms become human-like	Yew Branch
	If legs are not human-like	Legs become human-like
Tail	If has tail/s	A tail is removed	Tall Reed
Body	If has wings	Wings are removed	Mandrake Root
	If skin color is not: Dark Green or Light Green or Dark Red or Gray	Skin color becomes: Dark Green or Light Green or Dark Red or Gray
	If skin is not human-like	Skin becomes human-like
Cock	If has a cock If cock is not a Magicock If cock is not human-like	Cock becomes human-like	Turgid Mushroom
Milk	If is lactating or If cup size > Flat If milk is not regular	Milk becomes regular	Sweet Cream
Breasts	If nipple color is not Black	Nipple color becomes Black	Wild Melon
Pussy	If has a vagina If vagina color is not Black	Vagina color becomes Black	Lush Orchid
	If has a vagina If vagina is not human-like	Vagina becomes human-like
Cum	If has a cock If cum is not regular	Cum becomes regular	Musky Sap
	If has a vagina If cum is not girlcum	Cum becomes girlcum

Trivia

For a brief moment in between patches, a bug with brute beet would cause players to grow immensely tall after consuming the item, to the tune of ninety feet or more. This spawned several "jolly green giant" jokes which persist in the community to this day.